Superman - rocketed to Earth from the exploding planet Krypton.
Spider-Man - teenager bitten by a radioactive spider gains amazing powers.
Superboy - clone created from the genetic material of the present day Superman, Lois Lane and an unknown donor by a time travelling madman to save the life of the sick superboy he considers his son who is in fact the child of a future Superman and Lois Lane, and take part in his war on 21st-century superhumans in order to prevent the coming of 30th century 'metas' destined to murder millions of ordinary humans, including his true child.
The best superhero origins can be expressed in a sentence that won't require an oxygen tank to complete.
And New 52 Conner Kent has a terrible origin, one laid out in detail in this week's 'surprise gatefold cover' issue. Unfold the enticing cover by Ardian Syaf and Jaime Mendoza and you learn that not only is Superman the donor of part of Superboy's genetic material, but an equal part comes from Lois. Superman learnt recently that he and Superboy are related, but the Lois bit is new. She certainly doesn't know this, the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil Harvest having purloined DNA from her at some point.
Yes, it's that man again. Harvest, Character Find of Never, is back following the big hit he made with precisely no readers in the Culling crossover with Teen Titans and Legion Lost, and more recently in some comic or other I've managed to forget, thank the stars. Because Harvest really is a terrible character, an ugly git in a shroud who twirls his metaphorical mustache as he talks teen superheroes to death. And hearing his story from the beginning, seeing that he was hit by tragedy while defending his world from evil superbeings, doesn't make him any more palatable - he's at least as bad as anyone who's sinned against him. And he's not stopping a war a thousand years hence, so much as starting it a millennium early.
So yeah, it seems the current Superboy is the son of Lois and Clark, if you interpret 'son' very broadly. I wouldn't, I'd go with 'related' in a purely technical sense. And we still don't know who the third donor is ... previous continuity says Lex Luthor, but this is a comic written by Scott Lobdell, who admits to making his stories up as he goes along. So as I type, it may indeed be Lex, but by the time you read this, it's more likely Super-Turtle.
The actual storytelling this issue is OK. Pencillers Diogenes Neves and RB Silva, aided by inkers Vicente Cifuentes and Rob Lean, produce engaging art. They, together with colourists Tanya and Richard Horie, bring Lobdell's story to life with clarity and style. There's an Easter eggy nod to the Nineties Superboy with a variation on one of his costumes, reminding us how horrible the present outfit is.
Most of all, I object to Harvest sullying this comic yet again, and just as it was getting to be fun, via last issue's debut of a new Dr Psycho. Oh well, the midget mind mangler is promised for next issue - perhaps he'll do everyone a favour and make us forget Harvest.